I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
