Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
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