if you like me you must not know who I am
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
