How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
