did you get engaged???
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Quick, to the slutcave!
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
