I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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