babies were throwing up all over the place
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
