brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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