Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
