had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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