and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I want to fling myself into the sun
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
