He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
