ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
