Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
