I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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