was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
