By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
