I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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