Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
