And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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