Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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