She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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