make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
