I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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