We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
