And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
