Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
