The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
