Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
They have beer where we have blood.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
