So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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