After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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