this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
