Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
