i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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