I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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