hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
