do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
