I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
My vagina is very pro this idea
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
