he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
