Where is the hickey?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Randomize
