pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
