she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
