I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
