he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
