She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
