i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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