Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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