My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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