no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
