the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
