It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
